Couldn't resist

Besides, Faith said anyone who read this list on her blog had to do it...so I apologize for the length but blame her...love ya girl! :) (x) Smoked a joint (still don’t see what the big deal is…lol) ( ) Been in a wet t-shirt contest. ( ) Crashed a car ( ) Stolen a car (x) Been in love (sometimes foolishly) (x) Had a threesome (x) Been dumped (x) Shoplifted (I couldn’t JUST be boy-crazy as a teen, had to make it interesting…lol ) (x) Been fired (Neva eva eva.) (x) Been in a fist fight (ok, only 2 but they count) (x) Snuck out of the house ( ) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (But have had the opposite happen way to often to count) ( ) Been arrested ( ) Made out with a stranger ( ) Gone on a blind date (x) Lied to a friend ( ) Had a crush on a teacher ( ) Been to Europe (x) Skipped school ( ) Seen someone die (x ) Been to Canada (Home is only an hour and a half from the border…I love Niagra Falls) ( ) Been to Mexico (x) Been on a plane ( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show (I keep hearing I am sleeping on this though) (x ) Thrown up in a bar (Gotta remember to eat when you gonna drink…lol) ( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire (Huh???) (x) Eaten Sushi (been there done that..I’ll pass) ( ) Been snowboarding (x ) Met someone from the internet in person(Lawd, too many to count…and you would think I’d have learned my lesson from meeting my crazy ex-husband) ( ) Been moshing at a concert (x) Been in an abusive relationship (emotionally counts..sigh) (x) Taken painkillers (x) Love someone or miss someone right now (Hate to admit that) (x) Laid and watched cloud shapes go by (x ) Made a snow angel (I loved snow as a child…you have to do it at least once) ( ) Had a tea party (x) Flown a kite ( My Dad and I used to spend hours doing this) (x) Built a sand castle (x) Gone puddle jumping (x) Played dress up (x) Jumped into a pile of leaves (x ) Gone sledding (with all the snow we get back home...yep!) ( ) Cheated while playing a game (x) Been lonely (x) Fallen asleep at work/school (How can you not when you always volunteer to work holidays..lol) (x) Used a fake ID (And my sister and I look nothing alike so I always wondered how that worked…LOL) (x) Watched the sun set (x) Felt an earthquake (and thought it was my brother jumping on the bed..LOL) (x) Touched a snake (x) Slept beneath the stars (x) Been tickled (x) Been robbed (x) Been misunderstood (Always!!!) (x) Pet a reindeer/goat (x) Won a contest (And enjoyed the hell out of that Ludacris concert!) (x) Run a red light ( ) Been suspended from school (x) Been in a car accident ( ) Had braces (x) Felt like an outcast (I wasn't always so outgoing) ( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (x) Had déjà vu (Too many times to be normal) ( ) Danced in the moonlight (Not yet, but it would be nice) (x) Hated the way you look ( ) Witnessed a crime ( ) Pole danced (x) Been obsessed with post-it notes ( I can’t function without them) ( ) Walked barefoot through the mud (Ewwww!) (x) Been lost (it's not lost tough, it's finding newplaces..lol) ( ) Been to the opposite side of the world ( ) Swam in the ocean (x) Felt like dying (x) Cried yourself to sleep (sigh...yes) ( ) Played cops and robbers ( ) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers (But I should..and I will) ( ) Sung karaoke (it’s on the to-do list) ( ) Paid for a meal with only coins (x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (haven't we all) (x) Made prank phone calls when you were younger ( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (Nah...but I snort if I laugh hard enough so that is enough right there) (x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue ( ) Danced naked in the rain (That Should be on the to-do list…LOL) (x) Written a letter to Santa Claus (who hasn’t?) (x ) Been kissed under the mistletoe (Sigh...so sweet) (x) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about (x) Blown bubbles ( ) Had a bonfire on the beach ( ) Crashed a party ( ) Gone rollerbladdin' (x) Had a wish come true (Got a few more waiting though) ( ) Worn pearls ( ) Jumped off a bridge ( ) Screamed the word penis in public ( ) Ate dog/cat food ( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them ( ) Kissed a mirror (x) Sang in the shower (and everywhere else I can when I’m by myself) (x) Owned a little black dress (x) Had a dream that you married someone ( ) Glued your hand to something ( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole ( ) Kissed a fish (x) Worn the opposite sex's clothes (my favorite way to feel close to the one I love when they aren’t with me.) ( ) Been a cheerleader ( ) Sat on a roof top (x) Screamed at the top of your lungs (is a great way to vent) ( ) Done a one-handed cartwheel (Ha! I’d be happy to do a two handed one) ( ) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (x) Stayed up all night (x ) Didn't take a shower for a week (My drug of choice is a bath) ( ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree (x) Climbed a tree ( ) Had a tree house ( ) Are (NOT) scared to watch scary movies (x ) Believe in ghosts ( ) Have more than 30 pairs of shoes ( ) Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say ( ) Gone streaking ( ) Played chicken ( ) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on (x) Been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger (and I blush every time) ( ) Broken a bone (x) Been easily amused (am always easily amused) ( ) Caught a fish then ate it (Me?! Fishing?! Yeah right!) ( ) Caught a butterfly (x) Laughed so hard you cried (quite often) (x) Cried so hard you laughed ( ) Mooned/flashed someone (x) Had someone moon/flash you (x) Cheated on a test (x) Forgotten someone's name (x) Slept naked (you mean there are people who sleep in clothes?!) ( ) French braided someone's hair ( )Grown a beard ( ) Belong to the KKK

Here's a lil about me

I came across this sitein my blog hopping and the little quizzes on here are not only cute, but really dead on...at least for me. Here are my results from a few...try some yourself and I'd love to hear about yours.

Your #1 Love Type: INFJ

The Protector In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship. For you, sex is nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls. Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in. However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself. Best matches: ENTP and ENFP

Your #2 Love Type: ENFJ

The Giver In love, you give your all and feel guilty when relationships fail. For you, sex is not seperate from love and caring. Overall, you are humorous, giving, and motivational. However, you tend to be over-protective and critical of your partner. Best matches: INFP or ISFP

Your #3 Love Type: INFP

The Idealist In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship. For you, sex doesn't come quickly - it takes time for you to open up. Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive. However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space. Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ

What's Your Love Type?

Your Deadly Sins

Greed: 80%

Gluttony: 60%

Pride: 60%

Lust: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Envy: 20%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 49%

You'll die in a castle, surrounded by servants.

How Sinful Are You?

Your Birthdate: February 11

Your birth on the 11th day of the month makes you something of a dreamer and an idealist. You work well with people because you know how to use persuasion rather than force. There is a strong spiritual side to your nature, and you may have intuitive qualities inherent in your make up, too. You are very aware and sensitive, though often temperamental. Although you have a good mind and you are very analytical, you may not be comfortable in the business world. You are definitely creative and this influence tends to make you more of a dreamer than a doer.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

I survived! - Smurfest '05

Ok ok...I know ya'll are like what the hell is Smurfest?! Twin, being the hostest that she is, is launching the first annual(wonder who's gonna catch that...hmmm) Smurfest - the pre-Memorial Day, blue themed cookout at her new home. I have been looking forward to this all month, as this kicks off the summer, its a holiday weekend and I officially switch from full time Mommy/part time HotPants to fulltime HotPants/part time Mommy. Looking back, I wasn't really ready for Smurfest's drink of choice - BlueJuice. Oh boy!!! Thankfully I didn't pul a Notorious M.I.A. move, but I did end up knocked out in Twin's bed. I have realized that things that would normally make absolutely no sense sober make perfect sense when you are drunk...such as climbing under the blanket, pulling it all the way over my head and thinking that if someone looked in her room for me, they wouldn't see me 'cause I had the blanket pulled all the way up. Yeah...gotta put down that 5th cup of BlueJuice next time...LOL Anyway, I love my friends...and I guess their friends too, cause Smurfest was just the bomb (yeah I know that expression is hella old, but I haven't replaced it with anything yet...am open to suggestions) The crew was their regular crazy-ass selves as always. I did miss those that weren't there-you know who you are;) I was happy to see people that I hadn't seen in quite some time. And those that I missed altogether, sorry ya'll...but no one told you to show up so late...hmmph. Most importantly, I am so happy that Twin's Smurfest was all that she wanted it to be! Quick shouts to:

• Furious for playing grill man all night...you know we appreciate ya.
• Notorious M.I.A. for sharing a story that you can only share with those you don't mind laughing at ya...and will still love ya for it...LOL.
• Chartruse for falling into the fold and being just as loud and silly as the rest of us.
• Peanut for coming out of hiding...PEANUT!!!!! and bringing the girls, they are adorable
• Twin's cuz for NOT wearing blue...shame on you...lol
• S.Dot for keeping the kids entertained...like I been saying it's all love sweetie, hope ya doing well.
• The really pregnant girl for letting me rub her belly (ya'll KNOW I couldn't help it!)
• Mic for showing her face too...what's up girl!!!
• Last, but neva eva least...Twin just for playing the hostest with the mostest even drunk!!!

If I didn't mention you, it's either cause I was too drunk to remember your names, or how silly we were or I wanna make a comment about you that just could be a lil bit much...LOL

Smurfest '05 was the best kick off the summer possible. ATL, ya'll better watch out!!!

**Can't wait to see the pics...lol***

Must be somethin' in the water

The new rage in Atlanta seems to be for two people to meet, seem to be very compatible, become emotionally attached to each other, and yet leave their relationship open or "undefined" as to still be able to do as they please with whomever. For some people this type of relationship works. However, those are usually people who have mutually agreed to this. The problem I am seeing repeatedly is that one person in the situation blindly; meaning She is only seeing He, She is emotionally attached, and She is under the impression that He is in this to see where things could go. As things do indeed go well He and She will become Us, and no one else will be betwixt that. He,. on the other hand, is developing an emotional attachment, and while His and Her actions are exact to those of two people in a committed relationship, they are not "committed verbally” and therefore allows Him to be free to do as he chooses with whomever. Now, I will state for the record: He is right. He is free to do as he pleases. They are NOT committed. But, by not ensuring that She is aware of the "openness" and not letting her know that he is not intending on making a commitment down the road, despite the two being compatible, he leaves the door wide open to break her heart, tear her down, and make her less open to the next relationship. My question really is this: If you meet someone that it seems like you could be good with and for and all that other mushy stuff, why would you want to continue to date other people? Why wouldn't you want to really see where things could go? Why would you continue to string along someone that you know would like to be in a relationship, when you know those aren't you intentions? As I can't begin to answer that myself, I'm just gonna leave that just like that...wide open. If anyone has the beginnings of an answer, please see me immediately. As "not just the president of the club, but also a member", I'm gonna speak on behalf of all of us when I say this, "you people are gonna mess around and destroy the hearts of many others; and when the time comes that you are indeed ready to settle down, you are gonna have to deal with the emotional baggage that another person has created by doing the exact same thing you did to another person" . Whatever that special ingredient is in that water is gonna get ya’ll messed up one of these days. Hopefully, ya’ll wise up before that day comes.

Nerdy vs Girly: Star Wars Episode III

Most people wouldn't know it by my outside appearance, but I have some nerd-tendancies from time to time. Besides being technical(well to a degree anyway), I am into sci-fi a little more than the average girly-girl. I may not know all the history, but I know a enough to carry on a decent conversation about it...lol So the girly nerd went to see Star Wars Episode III this past weekend. OMG!!! I am still speechless 2 days later. This movie really blew me away. The cinematography, the action, the characters, the story, everything was great. Even if you hadn't seen the foirst 2, you could still enjoy this one. But I found myself in conflict. The nerdy and the girly were watching ther movie with 2 different sets of eyes. Girly vs Nerdy thoughts:

• Anakin is a cutie!
• Padme's love was just not enough to keep Anakin from turning to the Dark Side.
• Had Anakin not gone over to the Dark Side, i think Pademe would have lived through child birth.
• The lightsaber fight scenes were just plain and simple: Outstanding!
• Just how old is Chewbacca?
• Yoda is the Man!

There is a lot more, but I really don't want to give the story away. But you must see this movie, it is awesome and for the not so diehard fans, it rounds the story out and give closure. I know the true Star Wars fans would disagree, though.

***Oh yeah, I have to make mention that Wars of the Worlds is coming out this summer and Chonicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe is coming out in December. I sooo can't wait!***

Dream lover

I haven't lived at home since 2000, but I do get home at lease once a year, occasionally more than that. Oddly, every single time I am about to go home, I dream of my boyfriend from high school, J. Our relationship ended a little shakily, and the last time we saw each other was in 98 right after Christmas. Things were still in that awkward phase at that time, as we'd just broken up in September. We haven't seen or spoken to each other since then. I have thought of him over the years in passing; just wondering how he is doing. I heard through the grapevine back home that he's married with 4 kids now...wow, glad that wasn't me...lol But I would love to get in touch with him just to catch up. He was my first love, he'll always hold a specal place with me. His mother, however, is dead set against that idea...lol Being with him for 4 years, I knew his phone number back and forwards - in my sleep, so to this day I still know it. I tried to call to leave a message through her about a year or so ago, and the minute she realized who I was, she began cursing me out, making sure to tell me that "J is married with 4 kids now". Now back in the day, I would've just sat back and taken her going off on me. She is now and always has been a very mean spirited person. My mom grew up with her and her sisters and she's always had a nasty attitute. She couldn't stand me then and she made it clear her feelings for me had not at all changed. However, I'ma grown ass woman now...so it was nothing for me to cut her off in mid-cussing to let her know that I wasn't trying to get back with the man, I was simply trying to see how he was doing. Before she could get another word in, I asked her to please let him know that I asked after him and hung up the phone. It's sad that some people let that much negaitivy flow through them. Anyway, once again I am going home soon and I dreamt of J last night. Subconsiously something must be up, cause I swear my dreams are always sexual in nature and last nigth was no exception. (I swear I don't want im now, really!!!...LOL)It would be nice to some how chat with him to play catch up. A lot changes in 6 years. But I'm sure that won't happen anytime soon; not with his mama blocking...lmao I hope he is doing well though and he has found the direction in life he realized was for him. He was always a good guy...just not for me.

My I's

I Am: everywoman

I Want: to be loved unconditionally

I Have: the ability to develop greatness within my son

I Wish: there was a rule book to life

I Hate: negativity

I Miss: my freetime

I Fear: failure

I Hear: the cries of my heart

I Search: for the next great adventure, big or small

I Wonder: if men and women will ever get in the same book...asking for them to get on the same page is just too much

I Regret: Nothing!

I Love: myself above all others

I Always: take a person's actions as truth over their words

I am not: a trophy

I Dance: every moment I can to every beat that moves me

I Sing: every love song

I Cry: whenever I need

I am not always: as strong as I appear to be

I Win: when I persevere

I wear: my heart on my sleeve

I lost: myself...I don't know if I will ever find all of her

I Lose: myself in music

I Confuse: myself when I don't take time to think things through

I Need: to succeed to show my baby boy what a strong Black mother can do

I Should: make more time for myself to just "be"

***Alert Alert Alert***

Men...when women are in a bad mood, sexual advances do NOT distract us and make us feel better. They annoy us. They contribute to our bad mood because you end up coming across as insensitive even when we know you don't mean to be. Sex is a great stress reliver, true indeed, but there is an art to it and bringing it up in conversation when we are in a bad mood or stressing about something is NOT it. It's all about timing people. Take note and be aware. You have been warned.

Why I don't talk in the morning

I am NOT a morning person. Anyone who has been around me for any extended period of time knows this about me. I am irritable and cranky, and overall a not so nice person. And while I can fake it 95% of the time, it's still very BAD idea to come to me with some BS anytime before about 11AM, when I am pretty much more awake and functional. Doing so will result in you f*&king up my attitude for the entire day. And while yes, I can take steps to regroup and make the day a little brighter, do me a favor next time and just don't talk to me unless I speak to you first. I don't want to hear your shit when I already don't want to be awake, don't want to be here, and don't really give a damn about what you are talking about.

Introspection

Most people think it hard to admit when they are wrong to others. For me, its even harder for me to admit that I am wrong to myself. I don't mind being wrong among others, and am more than willing to admit it, apologize, learn from my mistakes and move on. But to look within myself and admit that what I have been doing is wrong just isn't as easy for me. I have been unhappy with my job for at least 9 months now. I can honestly say that I have mastered it and have since become very bored, and I have made it a point keep management aware. Not because I am a complainer, but because I want to be given more responsibilites. I don't work well when I am not working, if that makes sense. My job is mindless to me, therefore, I become bored and miserable. This however is not an excuse. In addition, because I am dissatified with my job, I don't put in as much effort as I could or should into getting there before my start time. And in accounting for traffic, that sometimes makes me late. I have been using traffic as an excuse, but lets face it, if I planned to get here 15 minutes early instead of rigth on time, I wouldn't have to worry quite as much. I called in late today so I could handle a bunch of stuff. And when I got in I found out my manger had gotten fed up and basically cussed the entire team out. As a whole, we have not been up to par, in regards toas calling in late and calling out altogether. It wasn't so much that she cussed me out too, 'cause I know I got the "tame" version. But she said something to me that really slapped me in the face. She told me that she basically can't even begin to try to go to upper management to get me anywhere else within the organization because I am not upholding my responsibilites to this position. And I know that she is right. I am basically holding myself down at this point. No matter how good I am at what I do, no matter how much I help everyone else on this team, how great my stats are, if I can't live up to the basic responsibiltes of showing up on time, how can I be entrusted with any other reponsibiltes in any other postion. Damn, I'm really mad at myself. Once again, its easier to do the wrong thing than to put in the effort to do the right thing. However, it's time for me to stand up and take responsibility for what I am and am not doing. I don't have to like my job. But, I do have to appreciate the fact that I have one, when there are so many that don't. And I do have to respect the reponsibilites I have in my current postion. I accepted the job knowing what it was, and I have to uphold what I agreed to before I can take on anymore. Queen is now standing up.

Suppressing emotions

Here we have just one more documented case of Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus... I stumbled across this one guy's blog today and in one of his postings he talked about feeling all giddy and excited about hearing from a female he has feelings for. Then he proceeded to say how he knew that admission sounded "lame". In a conversation with a guy friend today who is notorious for his "freaky" side, he made the comment that women generally don't take his sensitivity serious. Both of these really got me to thinking...why is it that men don't seem to thing it is "cool" or "manly" to display their emotional side? Now I am not saying that men need to walk around spewing out their hearts to anyone who will listen(unless you are just that much in love, in which case that is just Beautiful); otherwise, after awhile that would just become sappy. But to hear a guy say that he thinks its "lame" to feel excited that someone he really likes called him, is just heartbreaking. I would hope that anyone that has true feelings for someone would be excited to hear from that special person(hence the reason why I say, if you don't contact me, I assume you aren't interested...but I digress). The same holds true for guys who consistantly have some type sexual comment for women, all the time. That persona you display is all anyone knows of you. If you are always talking about sex, I am gonna think that's all thats on your mind. And personally, I'm gonna blow you off, 'cause random sex is the furthest thing from my mind, and I have more than enough lames throwing sex at me, instead of throwing their intelect and conversation. Guys, please show us that sensitive side form time to time, just enough for us to apprecite it and let us know that it's there. I promise we won't think you are lame.

Just cause you don't...

Maybe I'm overly sensitive today. I'm a lil sleepy, a lil hormonal, which always equates to cranky. But dammit, why does it seem like some times people who don't have reponsibilities don't quite respect those that do. And I guess its more so people who are younger than me that do this. Why is it that that people that have a full knowledge of how much I am doing rigth now, will ask me if I am doing this or that, and when I say I can't go they are looking at me like "dang why not?". Now as I'm writing this, I'm raalizing that I have said somethnig very similar to this not too long ago. That is not a good thing. 'Cause at this point, I'm realizing I am gonna have to address this head on. I recognize that I am very driven, I am very motivated, and sacrifing to the limit of insanity is not above me. If this is not in your character, that is fine, I don't expect anyone else to be that way. But if I say I'm not going out, and I say why I'm not going, don't question me beyond that. And don't be looking at me 5 years down the line wondering why I have my own shit, and am in full control of my life and my career. 'Cause I sacrificed and persevered to have what I want, while ya'll were out drinking because Cinco de mayo was a "good excuse to go drink".

NBA vs College

As I get ready for work in the morning I listen to V-103. While Frank and Wanda get on my last nerve, I can't go without the Inspirational Vitamin and the 7:00 Wakeup Workout mix. In between those two this morning, they were discussing this year's McDonalds All Star(or all-American maybe?) from Georgia. Apparently, the senior is expected to announce today whether or not heis going to go pro NBA or go onto college. As I am listening I am thinking to myself, this boy should go on to college and get his degree, or at least get a start on it to get the motivation ball rolling; maybe go pro in a year or two and still be working on completing his degree. Imagine my shock when I hear Frank yell out "Get that money boy!" WHAT?!?! Are you seriously telling me you think that this boy shouild make money his priority and lay aside his preparation for the future?! You have got to be kidding me. What happens when this boy injures himself in his first year? What then? When did we start making money our number one priority? Why shouldn't he follow his heart, his dreams to the NBA. That, I could at least understand. Because truth be told, he can still pursue his degree while going pro. Online school...'nuff said. But to make his reasoning to "get that money" just saddens me...truly. And I won't even get on the boy not being mentally ready to handle all that pressure at such a young age. I have never like Frank and Wanda because half the stuff that comes out of their mouth is just idotic(yeah, I know that ain't a word, so what...lol) Today they further proved my point. I hope to see the young man do great things, whatever he chooses, and I hope they all in preparation for his future...the future beyond his pro-ball days.

Praise where praise is due

I was doing some major blog hopping last night(while I shouldve been doing home work..lol) and stumbled across EJFlavors.com. I was already digging the content of the page; and I noticed he had radio.blog on his site. I though cool...maybe he'll be nice enough to help me with it on my blog too. I sent him a quick IM and he was more than willing to when we both have time. It wasn't until to day that I was really able to get a look at the music and playlists he has up on his site. OMG! Let me die now...I am in Heaven! The stuff has on there! The old school is really what got to me. Stuff that I don't have on my own PC and would love to have. Stuff that I wouldn't have even thought of. Talk about "Lost in the music"...man, I am about to lose my job sitting here playing this at work. I am a music junkie til the day I die...and I MUST give praise where it is due. Thank You EJ!!!!

Mothers day

Mothers Day is approaching quickly and I need to show my love and appraciation to the mothers and mothers-to-be in my life. So many women have influenced me to be the mother I am today and I always want them to know how affected I am by thier love and support. Happy Mommy's Day to all! SpecialK: You are one of the strongest, most intelligent, and loving Mommies I know. Your boys know this. No matter what happens, NOBODY knows how good you are better than those boys. When they grow up they will know who was there and who was not. And they will always cherish you. Your struggle now will indeed payoff later. MyVicarious Mommy-to-be: Stop worring. You are going to be wonderful. You little girl will be strong and healthy, and your family will be blessed. Everything that is supposed to happen is going to. You will not have to worry for anything. Enjoy all the moments Mommy-hood is going to bring you. BlackSheep: Cuz, no matter what ever happens, we all love you. Don't think we don't. And we know you love your daughter. You don't always recognize how what you do affectes her. Until you are willing to face your own demons, you can't begin to heal from them. Face them, cuz, don't pass them on like your mom did. Break the cycle. You don't want to see your daughter go through the things you did growing up. You are stronger than you think. You Can do this! Twin Tower: Girl! I admire you so much. Your son is so strong, intelligent, and well rounded; all the things I hope to raise my boy to be. You truly are one of the greats and it shows in your offspring. Keep doing what you are doing. He is going to love and respect you even more for it when he becomes the man you are raising him to be. Stace: Cuz, I love you so much. You don't know how much you have influenced me and how I raise my boy. You raised those two girls to be beautiful, articulate, gifted young women. You persevered through thick and thin. Worked double shifts more time that I can ever try to count. And that taught me to make ANY sacrifice to give my baby everything I want for him. Your girls will pick that up from you if nothing else ever. You are the strenght that I draw from when I can't see the light. I love you! My AtlSurrogate: You came out of nowhere and I know only God Himself drew me to you. You stepped up right on time, when I needed exactly what only you could provide me. Your enlightenment has seen me through some rough days. Thank you for being exactly who you are. Twin: What can I say?...lol You are raising such a delightfully bright little man...words just escape me. To be in his presence is a pure joy. Your Mom and Peaches reflect through you and their influnce lives on through you within Little D. He is growing up to be all the little man you want him to be and then some. MamaTwin: Just being Twin's mama, alone makes you special to me. Thank you for raising her to be the wonderful, intelligent, almost well rounded(LOL) woman she is. I thank you for her...my life would not be the same without her. GiGi: Ilove you so much. I don't tell you that enough. I have to make you more of a priority in my life and I plan to do that. I don't want to take your presence here on this Earth for granted because I know that my time with you is limited. I think I expect you to just live on forever, but I know that is not possible. I appreciate everything you ever did for me. And so does everyone else, even BlackSheep. She loves you, no matter how she acts. She can't help it. But you did your best. Don't feel to blame. You have been all you can to all of us, and we will always love you for that. Gramma: Even from above, I know that you are with me, every single day of my life. I am trying to live up to evenything you would have wanted me to be. I am trying to raise my baby boy to be all you would've expected in your first great-grandson. I am doing my best to take care of Mommy as you would want me to. I miss you everyday, and there are so many times I wish I could turn to you and just be near you. But I know you are near to my heart and my spirit and that you still guide when I need. I hope I dont disappoint you. BabyMama: Who da hell woulda predicted out relationship?! Two women with kids by the same man, usually dont make for a good friendship. And equally despising that man will foreer keep us bonded..LMAO But we have become more than just friends...you forever be my BabyMama. You are raising my boy to better a better man than if his sperm donor was in his life. Trust me, you do not need his influence on him. Between you and your family, he will be just fine. The oher boys are better off because they dont have to worry about hearing from him. I know you think the sperm donors influence would be better than none at all; it wouldn't, I promise you. Take my boy, go to Cali and give him everything; all the stability he needs and deserves. Hey, since your out there, maybe we can finally try to get in touch with the other two. I love you girl and we will always be fam. Our boys need and deserve each other. Mama: There is no better Mommy on this Earth than you. You have made me the woman I am today. Your love and support and encouragement had held me down on my lowest days. When I was weak, you reminded me why I am indeed strong. I have learned from your mistakes as you have wanted me to. I see you in me and I laugh because I always said "I'm not gonna be like you when I grow up" But I am, and I wouldn't want it any other way. You always say I am just like Gramma and I am more than proud because to be like Gramma is to be like you too. I love you Mommy.

Yet again...random thoughts

• Expertise comes from applying what you have experienced to future scenarios
• God blesses you when your truly and openly embrace Him
• Atlanta really has a shortage of tall men..whats up with that?
• Girls can be technically savvy too, dammit
• I am not yet an ABW, but I still ain't taking your BS
• There has been some really great music to come out in the past few week's: Faith, 112, and Mariah Carey
• Why the hell is this runaway bride making so many headlines? Do we NOT have more important things to concern ourselves with? And why is there a debate on whether or not to charge her? She lied about being kidnapped to escape getting married. There is no question here...her crime was premeditated...Charge her!!!

Crazy

I need to go off on a tangent from Twin's post about not being able to successful pull of the Crazy role very well for a minute. While she acknowledges that she can't...there are a lot of other women out there that can, and do VERY well. And it is amazing to me that so many men, run over, abuse, mistreat, and don't take this into consideration. To state it for the record: Women DO have a "Crazy button" It is masked when there is not love in her life, but once love arises and she is all wrapped up in being a man's everything...when ya'll mess that up, ya'll are fingering that "Crazy button". And trust me, you really don't want to push it. Because once you do...oh boy!...you have no idea what you can turn that woman into. Listen, we can only take but so much. We have a high, high threshold for pain on all levels: physical and emotional. But, please understand that there IS indeed a limit. And once that limit is reached you don't really know if you are gonna end up with flat tires, or harassing phone calls at your job, or dead rabbits boiling on your stove ALA Fatal Attraction. Ya'll need to start thinking about the consequences and repercussions that could possibly come from your deceit, disloyalty, abuse and mistreatment. You only think you know what is behind that woman's eyes. You will realy find out when you abuse her love...she may just find a way to physically show you just how much emotional pain you have put her through. And I am pretty sure men don't have the ability to come out alive through the end of that.